Posted by: Mermaid | December 7, 2004

The Light

I spent all my past life in a hut with bamboo bars on the ceiling that allowed a few warm sun rays in. I had signs on the walls warning me from getting out of the hut. For a long time I stayed in there, safe and warm. But I wanted more! So, I pulled my courage together and opened the door thrusting out seeking more warmth and pleasure. I opened my eyes full wide towards the blazing circle in the middle of the sky hoping to get as much as I could from its light and power. For a moment, I felt mighty and omniscient. I felt I had it all within. All the threads of my life laid among my fingers waiting for me to move them. But it all lasted for a moment, and then … it was gone! It went dark all of a sudden. I was blinded by the light I sought.

For long, dark days I stumbled down, hit my head to solid stones, and I tasted that strange mixture of blood and tears. Wounds wouldn’t heal up! With a defiant will, I refused to feel my way back to my safe hut. I decided to seek a new kind of light different from the one that blinded me. I refused to close my eyes even though they were useless. I wanted to open up for what is yet to come. I attentively listened to the sounds I never noticed before. Crusty leafs twisted and broke beneath my yet unbalanced steps. Drops of warm, sticky blood slipped on my aching fingers when they ignorantly clasped thorns of roses. Sandy mud stained my face when I tumbled down on stubborn stones. For long, endless nights I laid down to sleep covered only with a tremble and a tear.  

Now, after long years of darkness and pain I found it! I found the light within. I stumble down no more. I bleed no more. It leads me forward. Now, I can kiss the young petals with my delicate fingertips. I can take drops of dew between my lips to experience their pure taste. I can hear the silent calls of lonely pearls in distant, fastened shells. I can hear the beating heart of the earth when I rest my exhausted head upon its surface. I can hear the intimate whispers of a passionate pair of nightingales tenderly rubbing their tiny heads together to warm each others. I learned to listen with my heart.

I still have a scar on my forehead. I touch it with my fingertips from time to time. I know I’ll always have it. It hurts when I touch it but I need it to be there to remind me of the fall I had, to make me appreciate what I have now; the Light within.


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