Posted by: Mermaid | May 5, 2007

In Exchange of a Heart

I raise tearful eyes to the compassionate Sea Fairy who looks at me with merciful eyes moving her sight to my hand covering the left side of my chest with thin streams of blood springing from among my shivering fingers. “You are hurt… bleeding!” She says while patting my head with comforting hands. I nod, not being able to open my mouth. The pain is too strong to endure. “What do you want, dear Mermaid?” she asks in a soft voice. I open my mouth to speak but words do not come out. I close my eyes, gasp for air and gather all the remaining strength in my weak body and say: “I do not want it any more. It beats only pain to my body. Pluck it out… drag all my veins along with it. I do not want to keep this beating, bleeding heart inside!” I say with fierce, painful voice. “If I do so, you will not be able to feel anything any more. No sight, voice, or touch will ever be felt inside you. Can you take the sacrifice?” I close my eyes for a moment, thinking of you… of the pain… of the love this heart is still beating to every cell of my aching body. “Yes!” The Sea Fairy moves gracefully to the corner of her cave to bring what she would put inside my chest in place of my heart. “It might be beautiful” she says while approaching with a luminous body in her fair hands, “yet it is not a heart. It does not beat. It does not feel”. “And it will not bleed! It will not ache!” I say with a faint voice. I look into her hand to find a beautiful pearl, craved in the shape and size of a heart. I touch it feeling its smooth, cold surface.

She looks at me in the eyes and whispers while putting the pearl heart in my hands: “Enjoy your last beat, your last tear… enjoy even your last pain, for once I cast my spell, you’ll find your dying heart in your hand, and the pearl heart inside you”. I raise my eyes to the sky; embracing the last sensation of beauty I can feel, trying to engrave in my memory the salty taste of my last tear. Will my stone heart ever remember I had a beating heart once? Will it ever understand the sacrifice I had to make; exchanging a beating, bleeding heart with a cold, lifeless one? I look at her then close my eyes. She understands the gesture and raises her hands. I hear words I cannot understand. Dizziness engulfs my exhausted mind and I lose all my senses for a moment. Then silence prevails. I open my eyes and look in my hands. I raise my eyes with utter amazement to the Sea Fairy. “You are blessed, my dear Mermaid,” She says with a smile, “you have a heart that contains so much love that even my spells could not conquer. It cannot be replaced by a stone heart, no matter how beautiful it is…no matter how hard you try”. I burst in tears feeling a strange mixture of emotions; happiness that I would still bear this love for you inside me, and sadness for the unbearable burden of having to live without you. I give her back the pearl heart in grateful silence and jump back into the cold water. I sadly swim wondering if the pain would ever cease to be … or it would always live as long as I breathe!


Responses

  1. Heart Of A Woman
    (I know these are not good comments, It seems that I lost the motivating force .. yet I’m trying)

    General Comment:
    1) A human being is nothing but a bundle of memories, no mater how good or bad they are, how far or near; they what make us unique and like no other, and they also what enrich our existence with experiences and attitudes towards life .Yet, in the heart of a woman, the true woman, I can see an image that only wants to hover around the age of 17, trying to taste love always and accepts nothing against the mood she once felt when the first dews touched her buds. So, she would keep on locking for love and only love revives her, she would happily pick up the roses denying the groovy traces of the thorns.

    2) Mayada could have been a surrender to that feeling of being conquered by her very (un-armed) heart that opened the gates so widely to her world and while trying to pick up the pieces, she finds everything in life, in the faces she meets or things she touches, reminds her of the ONE who has seen her inside out; thus, she feels pain, for she loved being utterly exposed to the rays of someone’s heart, no matter how hard their impacts are, and she would always love to evoke that feeling again and again.

    Personal Comments:
    1) While Mayada’s heart is her dearest box of secrets, her Pandora’s Box, she is still naïvely locating her position in the wheel of fortune.

    2) 28 years are about to be completed of her age and still she has doubts of the treasure she carries in her bosom, and still she has a merciless attitude towards that same treasure.

    3) I think you didn’t need a sea fairy to show you the beauty that is inside, Mayada, for your words show it, your deeds show it, and you, yourself, are embodying it.

    4) Do not be indifferent, causality kills creativity and the sense of taste.


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