December … the month of self evaluation. I started mine a few days ago and was not happy with what I was reaching. I have been haunted lately by the feeling that I have a very mundane personality; nothing is special about me, just an ordinary girl who leads an ordinary life. I questioned my genuineness in many things. This morning, I reached the conclusion that I do not have clear-cut features of my character and my actions are not influential or worth mentioning.
By mid-day, I received a call from Rou telling me that a very kind and fine lady called her to tell her that she (Rou), I and another two gentlemen in PTP give her hope through our writings! The lady said that we’re a bunch of young people who represent light and hope for her. She is going through a very tough phase in her life these days (may it pass peacefully) in which she needs all the support and hope she could get and we, without knowing it, are helping her in getting through this phase! I and Rou met that kind lady only once last September and could not imagine for a second that we would be having this influence. I called the lady myself based on her request as she didn’t have my telephone number and I found her a sweet, cheerful one. She said much great stuff about the vision the four of us have and how we help her. She said she’s a follower of this blog and asked me to write more as I have not been writing as frequently as I used to in the past – which is true! I was in a state of shock which lasted for hours afterwards – yes, hours! I could not believe I could help someone in this way, that my writings would carry hope and light to anyone. I am grateful to you dear lady beyond words for the hope you’re giving me that the very little things I do are helpful in a way, that I am not, after all, that plain and hollow!
In return, and inspired by the initiative that this kind lady took by contacting me to tell me how I helped her, I am listing below a few of the people I am deeply grateful for for adding a lot to my life, helping me through tough times and just being the light I need to go on:
Mama, I love you the MOST. Being near you is the strongest sense of security and comfort to me.
Papa, although you look tough but deep inside you have a tender heart. Thank you for giving me many of your great qualities.
Lamya, thank you for being such a great sister throughout all those years. Thank you for getting me back to my senses when I go astry.
Rasha, a daughter more than a sister. Your presence makes me a much better person. Thank you for being that good and beautiful at heart.
Raghda, thank you for showing me how to selflessly love others and for enduring my mood swings. I am sorry for being mean sometimes with you!
All my nephews and niece (specially Hamza), you make me feel … just me; no watch-outs. Thank you for showing me that I can still give.
Sola, am grateful beyond words for having you in my life; a great friend and a wonderful companion. Thank you for being always there.
Rou, thank you for being the mirror of truth that tells me everything, even the things I sometimes wish to close my eyes to. Thank you for all the compassion and love you’ve endowed upon me.
Moonz, thank you for teaching me that I always need to listen before passing a judgment. Thank you for all the colours you are.
Mennat, thank you for showing me that there are still very sweet and genuinely refined people in this world.
Nerro, thank you for your bright smile. You are a source of light to many people.
Dido, thank you for being that caring, and for being such a child at heart. You always make me feel I am wicked compared to you.
Meto, thank you for everything you are; the genuine, sincere, kind, supportive, and wise friend you are.
Karim, thank you for making me trust my analytical capabilities and for letting me know that I am not that stupid after all. Thank you for showing me many beauties in the world.
Oroba and Bahaaeldin, thank you for making me believe I write good stuff that doesn’t necessarily have to go to the drain.
Mona Moheb and Yasmine Nizamy, thank you for being that delicate and sensitive. You give me hope that humane people still exist.
Dina El Ghandour, thank you for making me stop and think. Thank you for the refreshing views you share with me.
I have many many names in my head.. people that have been a great source of hope, light, joy and wisdom, but I cannot put down the names of everyone for space limitation. To all of you who contributed in building up who I am by simply being who you are, I am grateful! Thank you!