I have been suffering for years with pillows. They are either too high or too low and I end up with a restless sleep or a pain in the neck when I wake up! The solution was supporting my head with my bent arm to provide the suitable height. Today was a bit different… I used two soft pillows. I was extremely exhausted. I laid my head down and it sank in that softness. For some reason, I grew even more exhausted and pain started to creep all over me. You know when you keep hovering all day long like a bee and then all the exhaustion comes to your body once you start resting? But what made me really ache was this thought: I’ve been supporting myself for so long… standing strong and hard. Pain pierces my soul sometimes, yet I’ve learnt to endure whatever comes. But I need an existence to sink into… softness to wrap me like that pillow that held my head so gently that it hurt. I think I’ll have to wait still to find that soft pillow for my heart.