Three years ago, I went to perform Omra for the first time in my life*. Back then, I went to Medina first then to Mecca. The feeling that I got after the first Omra was that the former was the most peaceful spot on earth while the latter was majestic in a grand way. This time, I headed to Mecca first. I was going with an extremely heavy heart. I had just ended a relationship and was feeling awful about it. On top of this, I was not happy about a couple of issues at work plus deteriorating health problems. I did feel that there was a huge stone hung to my heart. But I was hopeful that once I am inside Al Masjid Al Haram I’d feel better. So, the smooth white marble, the grand gates, the tall columns, and there it stood. The same state of utter blankness that I had the first time I saw the Kaaba came upon me this time, too. I opened my mouth to say anything, yet nothing came out. I could not form any proper word, let alone understandable sentences. I went there having in mind several sins that I committed before, planning to ask for His forgiveness. When I was in front of the Kaaba, I tried to remember them but they were just gone! Yes, I could not remember any of them and that was exactly what happened to me three years ago. I just forget the sins I committed before! It was as if I was blessed with His forgiveness even before asking for it. Sob7an Allah!
Do you want to know the greatest feeling one can ever have in her/his whole life? I was sitting in the first floor on a chair holding my rosary then I closed my eyes for a moment and had that feeling; the feeling that the next time I’d open my eyes, I’d see the Kaaba… serenity, love, and greatness in their utmost and purest form. I closed my eyes again, rested my head on one of the columns and enjoyed the feeling.
Departing was extremely difficult as I knew not when I’d be able to go there again. Soon ya Rab… soon ya Rab!