Posted by: Mermaid | July 7, 2010

Happy, Purple Year to Come, Mermaid :)

Today marks the end of my 31st years on this earth. I do not believe in incarnation. I have only one life where I am only one person in it, and when it ends, it ends. I was never a cat in a previous life and will not be a tree in a coming one. Was it a good year? It was a busy year, a very busy one; match with Algeria, promotion, changing assignments at work, Umra, Khaled Said, travelling to Sudan six times, depression of friends, and sunny others. I cannot by any means say it was my best year. I had my share of laughter and tears. In fact, I did not cry much this year! But… it was heavier than any other year.

Was I at peace with myself? No! The voices inside my head were maddening! “You’re stupid, you’re not good, do this, do not do that, you should care less, this girl did that on purpose, do not trust him…etc.” And they never stop! If there is one thing I wish for, it would be going to a sea and diving in its embrace to silence all those voices. Something like this.

Stress was the worst this year. Not because it was heavier (which is a fact) but because I couldn’t handle it well. I was taking every single thing on my nerves; simply from my mobile phone not being as fast as I want it to be, clients with their “nice” comments to friends whom I expected to do things and didn’t do or did others I didn’t expect them to.

I am happy I am still strong enough to discard social pressure and decline potential grooms because we do not match. I hope I’ll always be that strong.

I won’t go through the usual evaluation of I was good at this and bad at that. Who cares?! I do not! I am fed up with holding the whip all the time for myself. This year, I do not want to learn something new. I do not want to draw a smile on somebody’s face. I do not want to improve me or others. I want to sit with myself, talk with her, maybe pat her even, and see what she wants, what she simply wants without questions or reproaches.

——-

I wrote the above two days ago while being in a very angry and snapping mood and the result is, as you can see, a fuming post! However, in the course of yesterday and today, the most wonderful things happened which led me to write the below:

I bought a new mug for myself. I deserve a treat every now and then. It has not only purple flowers but also beautiful and cheerful shades of green. (Ibraheem, I want to get you one like it but it is girlish and childish! Would you like to have one? :) )


I reached my office to find on my desk a gift wrapped in the loveliest wrapping held together by a fuschia lace pleasantly waiting for me. Attached was a card with a “Guess Who” neatly written inside. Unwrapping it made me literally jump from joy with a scream of happiness escaping my mouth; a purple mermaid Barbie doll! Purple? And Mermaid? And Barbie? Definitely it was someone who knew me well. Well, but not just knew me; it’s someone who truly cared! Someone who went the extra mile to make me happy, who actually gave it some thought and exerted effort to get me this gift. I kept calling those I suspected they got it for me in vain. I could not locate that most amazing person for hours till I finally could solve the riddle.


Meto… Meto! I screamed again when Nahla (my best friend and colleague who took the gift from him the day before to place it on my desk) revealed his name under some life-threatening from me when I discovered she had a hand in it. I called him and I… cried (luckily he didn’t notice!). He gave me my very FIRST Barbie. Yes, it is my first Barbie! I had all kinds of dolls when I was a child but never a Barbie. I know one thing; he’ll make me never get married ever because I’ll compare every man to him and his sweet, touching actions. And most probably, he’ll always win. I always wanted to have an understanding brother whom I can talk to and share experience and life with. I wish for none anymore. I have him… the most amazing, most thoughtful, most wonderful, sincerest him! Rabenna yekhaleek leyya we yedeem el ma7abba ya Meto :)

I usually spend my birthday at home because I like to be among my family though we do not celebrate it. Today, it was an exception. Meto was giving a presentation on Aromatherapy. He asked me this morning to join the event. And because I very much felt like seeing him and I wanted to spend more time in Nahla’s company (and of course I knew I’d enjoy the presentation) I made an exception this year. And I am glad I did :) I saw many familiar faces who welcomed me with their beautiful faces and lovely wishes (Randa, I love your smile! :)) I felt very happy and light after the presentation. Everyone made me feel loved and blessed. I wish Rou and Sola were there though (sigh! Love you girls).

Nahla is an everyday gift in herself. I cannot ask for anything more in a friend. I love everything about her… her simplicity and sophistication, her peacefulness and uniqueness. Nahla… you know what I want to say! (HUG).

Lesson learned this year: safely send your expectations to the North Pole. Expectations = frustrations.

The coming year’s resolutions: be gentler with yourself, lose the extra 7 kg and when you’re sad ya Mayada remember that you have a nice pair of feet :)


Responses

  1. Dearest Mermaid,

    Whom I remember my first encounter with was simply a story.. A story that never got the opportunity to grow other than the few lines we exchanged, but I thank those lines for introducing me to a person such as yourself..

    Yesterday was indeed an exceptional day.. It also happens to be my Wedding anniversary.. So I guess we’ll have something to share :) which is an honor..

    You actually have one of the most cheerful smiles I’ve come across and it’s the sort of smile that gives one a sense of hope in this world..

    You will put smiles on people’s faces whether you want or not.. Because your smile does that on it’s own.. it doesn’t require for you to go an extra mile..

    At least that’s the way I see it..

    Don’t go too hard on yourself.. Pat yourself on the shoulder and give her a hug when needed..

    Always be who you are..

    A Mermaid that travels the seas..
    And this is for you:

    Travelling across the seas of time
    seeing the world through different rhymes
    you dive and rise through night and day
    where people will find you or you hide away
    perhaps many see the beauty in you
    even though they can’t always reach you
    because it’s not always easy to stay
    up with the speed of a lovely mermaid

    Everyone has a memory of you
    A memory in heart
    A memory they drew
    With a cheerful smile
    And a grand spacious heart
    People can never keep you apart

    Your journey continues
    every hour and everyday
    For this we wish you..
    A joyous birthday..

    Happy Bday Mayada..

    Tarek Refaat

  2. And making you happy my dearest friend was the best thing that happened to me in months!! And for sure I noticed that you were crying, I knew you will and I appreciate every single tear. They say that pearls are originally mermeaids’ tears :)

    As I told you yesterday, you deserve to be happy and if the world and people cannot do this, I can…

    The leo-ascendant-capricrnian-se3eedy-of-Turkish-blood ego can do positive things as well :)

    Enjoy being loved…

  3. do I ever care about girlish or childish? look at my crazy blog! :D

    wow Mayada, you have no idea how soothing it was for me, the fact that you were happy.

    and look at your friends!! awesome people! :)

    *virtual kiss on the forehead* from your son to his big sister and mommy ..

    may all your days be the sunshine that you are ya Mayada ..

    :)

  4. … am speechless now!
    And you know what i want to say!
    Happy Birthday, and everyday, “My Dear”
    Love you
    Bisoux

  5. انت محظوظة بوجود هكذاا صدقاء حولك!! كوني على يقين بان كونك اكثر من رائعة هو سبب وجود هكذا اناس في حياتك!! ليس الامر مجرد حسن حظ على ما اظن!!

    ارجو ان يكون غدك اجمل من امسك!!

    كل عام و انت بخير!

    ملاحظة :البنت باربي جميلة فعلا..ما عندي وحدة زيها..مممم..ممكن تديني عنوان ميتو؟؟!!

  6. Ya Tarek,

    Wallahy although we do not talk much but I am happy I know someone as refined and knowledgeable as you :)

    Kol sana wenta we Dalia we Zooky tayebeen ya Rab :)

    That is one of the sweetest things someone said about my smile (blush, blush) :)

    You composed that poem?!!!! I am very touched ya Tarek begad! And I do not know what to say! Ya Tarek this is … too much! Rabena yekremak! I like it very, very much :)))

  7. Meto… my dearest Meto,

    What else can I say? You cannot be that formidable! Nobody can be that formidable! But I think since you are exceptional in every thing you would be exceptional in this as well :)

    You noticed I was crying?! Yaady el fadaye7 (blush)!

    Yes you can make me happy … you always could… and always would :)

  8. Ibraheem, Ibraheem, Ibraheem :)) Yes, I am happy and blessed :) How can I not be when I have amazing people like you around me? :))

    Consider it done… will get it next week ;)

    Ibraheem… mayenfa3sh keda… we have to find a way to make you officially my son!

    Rabenna yedeem el ma7abba, dear, dear Ibraheem :))

  9. Nahla, you ARE an everyday gift! Your presence, your sheer presence makes me endure a lot of this world’s follies. I wish I would bring you as much happiness as you do to me, dearest :)

  10. أنا محظوظة فعلاً يا عروبة… الحمد لله. لأ والله، أنا مش أكثر من رائعة ولا حاجة :) أنا أحيانا بابقى نكدية وغلسة وماحدش يطيقني… بس عشان حواليا ناس جميلة بيستحملوني :)

    آمين آمين :) وإنتي طيبة وجميلة يا عروبة :)

    شوفتي باربي حلوة إزاي؟ هاها.. بذمتك مش ميتو ده أجمل واحد في الدنيا؟ :)

  11. Here:

    http://www.polyvore.com/happy_birthday_mayada/set?id=20601606

    I hope you like it!

  12. Ya Oroba… I cannot thank you enough for taking the effort to compile this for me :))

    It IS beautiful.. and I love the lines :)

  13. May the coming year bring you satisfaction and love… Rabena yeraya7 albek would be the best da3wa I can say to you…

  14. kol sana wenti tayeba ya habibti,,,yesterday I called meto to ask ,( enta 3amalt eih le mayada for her birthday?? ) he said go to her blog and you will know ,, tab3an as you know me I never go in sequences lol !
    I like talking than going to the internet !!!!
    but I did ,,and ,,dear mashallah , allah akbar ,I felt so happy for you ,and I felt so blessed having you as a young friend and daughter , meto so close to my heart, nahla , rou,, randa ,tarek ,,kollohom ,,,

    those people are my blssings ,,,lessa fi kheir fel donya homma dool homma dool!!!!!

    love you
    salwa

  15. Ya Rou,

    Amen to that dear :) For all of us :)

    Salwa,

    Wenty tayeba we gamila as always :) Shofty Meto is amazing ezzay? :))

    You are a blessing ya Salwa… that’s why you’re surrounded by good people :)

    Love you too, dear :)

  16. […] was last year’s birthday post. Last year’s resolutions were: be gentler with yourself, lose the extra 7 kg. I became […]


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