They say no expectations, no frustrations. Somehow, I never managed to work things right for this expectations thing. I usually do not have expectation except from close ones. And when they’re not fulfilled, I always feel frustrated. So, I resorted to a stupid technique, turning a bit cold in terms of expectations. Not good! Miraculously, this year, I managed to have expectations but no frustrations. Do not ask me how coz I do not know myself.
This was last year’s birthday post. Last year’s resolutions were: be gentler with yourself, lose the extra 7 kg. I became gentler with myself and this is not because of any cleverness from my side. It’s because of Allah’s grace and mercy on me first and then because of the presence of two people in the past year. Again, Nahla… Nahla… Nahla! You know the song: “She.. maybe the famine or the feast”? Nahla is always, always the feast. My God! How she calms me down and eases the pain. You know when there’s a baby who is crying its lungs out and its mom just holds it close, so the crying starts to subside and the baby falls asleep? she’s like that with me! I think I would have burnt my heart to ashes hadn’t I had her this year. Nahla, am… indebted and grateful beyond what any words could convey.
The second person is actually related to what I consider my greatest achievement and gain this year (no, not the book :)). It’s gaining one wonderful, one-of-a-kind, once-in-a-life-time friend. B were another reason for easing the silent, fierce battles inside of me. The times he made me smile (and giggle as well) are countless. Although I so many times wanted to kill him for being right almost all the time, but I cannot imagine my life without his wise words and encouragement. He is a very talented, AWESOME poet and he still thinks highly of what I write :) B, thank you for always being there, for the hearty laughter, for enduring my follies, and for giving me my most favorite nicknames :)
Adding to the blessings in my life, Rou with her smile that instantly draws a smile on my heart, her endearing, beautiful eyes… continues to be a bless for the fourth year. May we always, always be the closest friends :) Yes3ed 7ayatek :)
Meto, he’s capable with a short SMS of making me burst in laughter at work! Discussing literary works with him is unmatchable. Although we’re very different in many things but we managed to accept each others’ differences and peacefully live with them. Isn’t this what great friendship is all about?
Sola, my only-physically-distant, close friend whose hug is so warm that I can almost still sense it till now. Rabena yekremek ya Sola :)
Raghda, my little sister, the naughty, troublesome one in the four of us :) She’s been an amazing friend this year, endured my mood swings that I myself couldn’t put up with :) I love you :)
Then comes my book, my thesis… who would have imagined that would happen in a million years? :)
And I am the biggest loser… of eight kilograms :D
This birthday is different; I am not in the old Egypt. It is not the best Egypt but I am hoping for the best. At least, it’s a free Egypt. May your soul rest in peace, Khaled Saeed!
This blog… I never thought it would come to be such an essential part of my life as it has become now. I still owe Nerro a big thank you for introducing me to wordpress through her blog after proving a big failure with blogspots. In this blog, I have poured a lot of myself and benefited tremendously from doing so. With every mask I take off with the “publish” button I press, I understand me more, I laugh with me, often fight with me, but also try to fathom my depths and dark corners.
My day started with chocolate and a warm chat with B. Can I think of a better start? :) And when you have that, the day goes perfectly well :) I received gifts of love from dear people; a lilac top and scarf from Raghda and her and my friend May, Lindt chocolate, flavoured cappuccino, a bag (love them) from Moonz and Minmin, a beautiful gift poem from B, and my favorite Tiramisu with a candle in it and “happy birthday” song from Nahla :) After work, Raghda, May, Nahla and myself met in Munchies where you can eat delicious waffles and crepe! I ordered apple with cinnamon and caramel sauce waffles. My God! Some deserts are torturing begad!
I originally planned to end the day by getting out the chocolate fondue set Sola got me a few years ago and indulge in marshmallow and bananas covered in rich chocolate. But because of the waffles, I could not do that. Instead, I ended it with Schweppes pineapple and Lindt dark. Being into plans and trying to stick to them as strictly as possible is okay, but we should allow some space for spontaneous incidents and events. I enjoyed the unplanned ending and am grateful I loosened up a bit to accept what life is offering me. I have to admit I am not in control of everything, and I should enjoy this.
Tarek Refaat, a fellow PTP-ian and friend, said a few words about me that I found amazing because they relate me to the sea, my home :): “the mermaid of the sea of words, with her constant calm and very observing features and eyes who’s sense of feeling and emotions is as vibrant as the sea and as colorful as the beautiful coral reefs that just bring us to an awe”. Thank you, Tarek :)
For the coming year, I wish I’d be closer to Him and to be a source of happiness and comfort to dear ones. Resolutions: eat healthy, work out, read more, learm more and be more tolerant and understanding. And, Mayada, always keep counting the blessings. Having chocolate and splendid people in your life is a blessing beyond words. Happy birthday :)