And I have been on this earth for 37 years. I felt every second yet all my life is just a blink in time’s span. Just a blink. When life gets too tough, I try to remind myself that this life is not real; not get too much sad or too much happy. It is NOT real.
The past year was not the best of my life. At two moments, I was at the peak of happiness then just hit rock bottom. I am okay now. With scars but it’s okay. Don’t we all have our own scars for life. They tell stories we lived and they pose as constant reminders. Mine are reminders to keep myself in control. Not to be passionate but to have a calm face and heart.
Celebration of my birthday started yesterday with family getting an ice-cream cake and actually singing for me! Needless to say, I turned into a ripe tomato :) A few friends also called and sang for me on the phone :) I went completely speechless :) I do appreciate the blessings I have in my life; my family, my close friends, and the endless other gifts from God.
Today, I woke up with a light smile thinking that I am going to pamper myself. I put on colourful outfit and went out for breakfast. A month ago I got a planning journal. Well, for someone obsessed with planning, this is like a AWESOME gift! :D El mohem, today I started filling more pages; things I want to learn, countries I want to visit, habits I want to gain / quit…etc. Doing so, got me thinking that I need to get out of my comfort zone a bit. I need to stretch and try new things. Not too much bardo or else I’ll panic :D Change is good, Maya :)
After finishing breakfast, I passed by a plants shop where I bought a beautiful leafy kind of cactus. It has tiny pinkish leaves. Pink is supposed to spread more. Colours! :)
After getting myself and mom two delicious cupcakes from Yummy Surprise, I headed home and spent the rest of the day with my dearest mom. Today was important for me. It was another assurance for me that I still can make myself happy. That my own company is a source of delight. Yesterday and today are a reminder that I shouldn’t lean on anyone except myself, close family and close friends.
Maya, may you live and die with a smile and a light heart. May life be merciful to you. May it be void of passions but alleviated with colours, ever changing and ever growing, and with sweetness that is soft and fulfilling.