Since 2010, I’ve been putting on 2-3 kilograms a year without being able to lose them. I ended up with 11 kg on top of the weight I am comfortable with. I refused to visit dieticians believing in my strong willpower and discipline. Indeed I managed to shed up to 50% of the extra kilograms but I would just gain them back in no time. A month ago I came to the realisation that I cannot do it on my own. I am strong-willed yes but not everything in our lives we can do or handle alone. Sometimes we just need help. And there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that, Maya! So, I started visiting a dietician and am slowly but surely losing the extra weight. Still a couple of months till I reach my destination.
I noticed two things during my diet. First, how much I appreciated what I took for granted before like fruits and bread. Now I’d chew on a date slowly with lazy pleasure enjoying the natural sweetness that reaches my heart before my blood. Second, I have a “free day” in the week. Because of all the forbidden food that I am not allowed to touch during the 6 days, I developed a psychological hunger that my body cannot keep up with. This hunger makes me buy lots of food on the 6th day in preparation for the following free day thinking that I’d swallow all that easily. Luckily, my body doesn’t give in to my whim of eating all that food and just takes samples of it sending red signals to stop at a certain reasonable level of food intake. Luckily tany, I listen to those signals and do not over-stuff my poor stomach.
When it comes to relationships, I always pick up those signals but I am not always smart in acting upon them. Sometimes the psychological hunger makes me fight too much and too long in lost battles. But I never settle elhamdolillah! I never accept something my heart or mind refuse
This psychological hunger, whether for food or for a partner, would never go away. Cravings are as inevitable as life itself. I hope God will always grant me the strength to never take what I do not want just because it’s what’s available now or because it would satisfy an instant craving.
May you never settle, Maya! And may your heart and mind’s cravings be fulfilled! :)