Posted by: Mermaid | September 25, 2017

On Remembering Things

By noon today something strange happened. I started feeling disoriented and not focused. I vaguely remembered conversations with people that happened in the morning or even five minutes before. And this was not about one conversation or an incident; it was about almost all the events and interactions that happened today. And this extended to not being able to recall names of colleagues and statuses of projects. That was… I am not sure how it felt exactly. I felt a bit alarmed so I talked to my best friend, briefed her about my condition and asked her to wait for a message from me every hour or else she needed to call me to check on my status. Well, an hour later, I exerted an effort to remember bits and pieces from this conversation but the good thing is that I set my alarm and dropped her a line every hour.

Towards the end of the evening, am feeling better. Not back to normal but better. Now when I think about it, it is a bit scary. What if I lose my memory? Memory of things, people, who I am? I felt lost in the morning, like I was floating in a world I could not recognise. Faces felt familiar but I found it difficult recalling things. No sense of belonging. This WAS scary. Is this what Alzheimer’s patients feel? Do they feel lost or they dwell under the blissful state of oblivion? Do they try to remember things or they just float with whatever memories cross their minds?

I never thought of our ability to remember things as a blessing. Now I know what a great one it is! It is our compass and anchor. Praise to Allah for all his blessings; those we are aware of and those we are not.

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Responses

  1. سلام عليكم عودا حميدا :)
    اولا شفاكي الله وعافاكي واذهب عنك السوء.
    ثانيا لطالما تساءلت عل ان فقدنا ذاكرتنا هل ستظل طباعنا الشخصية بمعنى هل سيصير الشرير لطيفا او الطيب شرسا.
    هل الذاكرة هذه ذاكرة فقط الشوارع والاسماء ام ذاكرة الهوية في حد ذاتها هل الامر ببساكة مسح كارت ميموري مثلا!
    عموما بعيدا عن التساؤلات الفلسفية هذه اتمنى لك الصحة والعافية وان لا تنقطعي عن الكتابة، لن اقول كل ساعة بل مرة شهريا ان امكن.
    دمت بخير.

  2. وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته،

    شكرًا جزيلًا، أحمد!

    لم تخطر ببالي تك التساؤلات! ممممم… لا أعلم! أعتقد أن من يفقدون ذاكرتهم يتغيرون. يصبحون أقرب إلى طباع الطفل المرنة التي يمكن تشكيلها. ممم … لا أعلم قطعًا!

    ادع لي أن أستمر في الكتابة :)


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